Think about how many books you read for high school or college classes. Depending on the course, you may have been required to read one, two, or three books to pass the class. And that's just for one class. Now think about how many books you've read for classes for your entire education spanning from high school and beyond. That's a lot of books! Now, compare that with how many marriage books you've read. If you're like most couples, you've probably read none. No wonder marriage can be so challenging, you haven't read the books! You can't develop a great marriage without doing the reading. So, the fist step is to build a list of the best marriage books. This page will introduce you to one of them, the Total Marriage Refresh.
Looking For The Best Marriage Books?
Of course I'm biased because I wrote it, but I believe the Total Marriage Refresh is one of the best marriage books for couples. It's my seminar on steroids, including more insights, more tools, and more exercises. If you enjoyed my seminar and would love to continue to review the concepts I encourage you to get this book. If you've never been to one of my seminars but would love to learn the top six steps to marital satisfaction, this is the book to get. Also, the book is intentionally written for the entire spectrum of couples. Therefore, whether you're newly engaged and wanting to learn how to do marriage right or you're desperately needing marriage counseling, this is the best marriage book to start with.
The Total Marriage Refresh took me around a year to write and is the product of the following four sources.
First is my own marriage since 1999. As I've shared elsewhere, my own relationship has been to the brink of divorce and back because of trauma from my wife's upbringing interacting with trauma from mine. Combined, we developed several vicious cycles early in our relationship that severely strained our relationship. Thankfully, we reached out for help and began a multi-year journey of healing and recovery. I share a lot of my journey in this marriage book so you know I can relate to your challenges on a very personal level. I know what it feels like to have your needs unmet, to feel hopeless, and to be filled with resentment. However, I also know what it feels like to heal, to develop hope, and to fall back in love.
Second is my own personal research on marriage. Being married myself and working with couples in my practice created many reasons for me to continually read marriage books and articles. Each time I would slowly process the key concepts, reflect on their merit, modify them, and then test them out. Doing so allowed me to continually refine my methods and approaches to helping couples. So, some of the ideas in the Total Marriage Refresh build upon previous concepts covered in other marriage books but with new directions and fresh insights.
Third is my clinical work with couples in my private practice since 2004. Every week I would sit in my counseling chair and hear couples describe what was making them unhappy in their marriage. I would hear about their trauma being activated, needs going unmet, communication being blocked, and feelings of despair and hopelessness. Working with couples all these years has been a tremendous privilege, which has allowed me to continually look into the intimate workings of relationships. Doing so has helped me draw careful conclusions on what people need in marriage to have successful relationships and what can easily ruin them as well.
Fourth is my Total Marriage Refresh seminar, which I've been providing since 2012. I've always enjoyed public speaking and helping couples so providing a marriage conference felt like the perfect combination. My first seminar was a humble class of 8 couples. However, over time it has grown to hundreds of couples meeting in hotel conference rooms several times a year in various states. The experience providing it has been invaluable because it's allowed me to continually refine my content. After each seminar I would grab some food and sit for hours looking over the feedback forms to discern what everyone enjoyed and what could be improved. This ongoing refinement process has allowed me to narrow down the exact content that should be included in a marriage book.
In sum, the Total Marriage Refresh is one of the best marriage books for couples to develop an amazing relationship. I hope it transforms your marriage and becomes a valuable resource to turn back to for years to come!
Be sure to check out Dr. Wyatt Fisher's other resources below to better your relationship!