Many marriages experience a lack of sexual intimacy, which generates negative emotions for both partners involved. In my practice, I frequently encounter couples seeking help due to being in a sexless marriage. This article will explore the sexless marriage effect on a husband and wife.
Sexless Marriage Effect On Husband & Wife
Step 1: Identifying the causes
First, it is essential to examine the causes of a sexless marriage. Several factors can contribute to this situation. One common cause is busyness. As couples become busier, they find it increasingly difficult to prioritize sex. Another significant cause is unresolved resentments. According to my wedding cake model for married sex, the first step is resolving resentments because it is difficult to engage in sexual activity with someone you resent. Many couples struggle with relationship problems, frequent arguments, and unresolved issues, which hinder sexual intimacy. Additionally, differences in libido can also lead to a sexless marriage. When one partner has a high libido and the other has a low libido, finding a compromise and maintaining consistency becomes challenging. The high libido partner may stop initiating sexual encounters after repeated rejections, ultimately resulting in a sexless marriage. Another common cause is the presence of unhealed past traumas in one or both partners. Unresolved trauma often leads people to avoid sexual contact, thus contributing to a sexless marriage.
Step 2: Understanding the impact
The impact of a sexless marriage negatively effects the marriage as a whole. Lack of sexual intimacy damages and strains the relationship since it is a crucial aspect of a healthy marriage. The quality of a marriage improves with increased sexual activity, while a lack thereof can make couples feel like roommates, siblings, or business partners. The passion gradually fades away, and the marriage becomes cold. The effect on husbands (assuming they are the high libido partner) can be devastating because sexual contact serves as a primary means of feeling loved, connected, and valued. Thus, the absence of sex leads to feelings of hurt, loneliness, and disconnection. Unfortunately, many husbands express these emotions with anger and agitation, concealing the underlying vulnerability. This creates a vicious cycle as the wife receives this anger and withdraws from intimacy even further. The effect on wives (assuming they are the low libido partner) is also significant. They receive less affection, quality time, and emotional intimacy since their husband feels distant and disconnected sexually. Consequently, the wife's needs also go unfulfilled, perpetuating a negative cycle.